|Can I just scream sometime soon?
||[Nov. 13th, 2006|05:57 pm]
I am soooo frustrated with how things are going in my medical care right now.
I had a call from ____ with UW trying to schedule me to go in TOMORROW for a needle biopsy of my tumor that is near sciatic nerve.
Him: Hello. This is __ I am calling to give you your arrival time for your CT guided biopsy of the tumor at UW.
ME: Um.... No.. I had an EXCISIONAL biopsy done on 11/2/06. Just got told last week that its Maligant and also have spots on my lung.
Him: well i dont know why they still need to do this needle one then.
ME: well they arent going to do one, as my doctor never told me they needed to do it.
So, I called up to my doctor's nurse, who called me back and long story short, when tricare first denied the excisional 3 weeks ago. They were going to do a needle biopsy. UNTIL MEDICAL DIRECTOR OF TRICARE talked to my doctor he then approved the excisional which I had. so there was a cross in paperwork and the idiot that called me never saw the word CANCEL ACROSS THE SCREEN! Anyways. My ortho oncologist says that I have a osteosarcoma. The person I have to see to get started on the chemo to shrink the tumor in order to get this beast outta me, is not 100 percent convinced that is what it is. So they sent the pathology over to the Mayo clinic last week to get them to look at it to get their opion. I was told last week I would know today after the tumor board met, that I would get the final result. Well I got the call and I guess Mayo clinic can not make a final determination so they are calling someone else due to I guess it was still growing or something weird was going on. I aM SOOO FRUSTRATED.. the longer they put this off, the more this tumor is growing in me. THE LONGER I AM OUT OF WORK CAUSE I CANT SIT IN A CHAIR FOR 8 HOURS STRAIGHT A DAY.. the longer i have to stay on pain meds AS THE ONLY PART I CAN FEEL IS RIGHT AT THE HIP. OTHER THAN THAT I DONT HAVE anything but tingling like your leg is asleep the rest of the way down my leg. they stuck me with needles, they pinched me till i was black and blue and i didnt feel it. I am tired of this. I am frustrated. i AM MAD cause my husband thinks that i should be dealing with this a different way and better way... I have someone who I thought was a friend on a military support board that I have now learned is only a friend when it benefits her. I think I just want to go back to my hermit life style. I am worried that my husband is going to get in trouble cause they havent even done nothing major on me regarding all this yet they requested him home on emergency leave from IRAQ and here I sit. and now the entire unit is home from IRAQ and still I sit here. I am sooo fed up. We are supposed to go on vacation to Las Vegas in DEC and I am not even looking forward to it. I dont even care to go anymore. Why? I already suffer from depression, am on meds for it. was doing very very well. until all this hit. and now I am not. I will admit depression has set in. My husband is a good man dont get me wrong. He is just not a very good understanding one as far as helping me deal with things like this. I had a stroke last year and he was in total denial of it. he would not even read the books the doctos wanted him to read. I dont know if its fear or what.. but all it does is hurt me inside. I feel like I am battling this alone. I know there are other people out there in the world going thru this. but I dont have any family. all I have is my husband. and right now as I sit here and type this, he is drinking a beer watching football.